- Combine several lobstermen and retirees in campground.
- Mix strong drinks and spread evenly among lobstermen and retirees.
- Unload a bunch of large coolers and cookers from truck bed (carry all to feast location).
- Stand around steam pots, exaggerate weights of lobstah.
- Consume drinks while watching lobstah steampots.
- Mix well with laughter and slaps on backs. Sprinkle heavily with compliments to one another.
- Devour lobstah, belch and retire to campfire.
- Tell several lies around the campfire, allowing lobstah to digest.
- Fall asleep in lounge chair; awake abruptly to rain in the face after midnight.
- Repeat as desired.
|For best results use at least two lobstermen for each retiree.
Note: Real Lobstermen only wear shirts with buttons for special occasions.
|Add wives to control overheating and as needed, dogs for cleaning up spills.
|Unruly wives should be kept to a pen by themselves.
|To avoid overexertion, retiree loads should be limited to empty pots
Younger, stronger lobstermen are better suited for carrying heavy coolers of lobstah.
|This is where the "exaggeration" part is important. A few outrageous lies thrown in here add flavor.
|It's a good practice to allow retiree to feel for "steam" from lobstah pot.
It may be a good idea to have a wife on standby to throw melted butter on retirees or lobstermen if necessary.
|Use wives generously when heating oil for clam frying.
|Retirees and lobstermen alike overindulge in lobstah eating.
|Good lobstermen always have a surprise trophy crab to spring during the lobstah feast
|Retirees should always be allowed to make the biggest messes during a lobstah feast